Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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