You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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