If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
