you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
