Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
