i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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