I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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