I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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