I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
