he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
