Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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