Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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