I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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