my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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