Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
