Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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