I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
