party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
