Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize