this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
