She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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