This is not my ceiling
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
