coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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