I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
