But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
