we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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