Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
