That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
