She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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