I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
