My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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