I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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