@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
