i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
