bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want to be your penis for a week.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
