I want to make a zoo with you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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