what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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