she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
