i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
