I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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