between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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