I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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