When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
