I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This baby is an asshole
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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