She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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