thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
