She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize