that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
