Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
