just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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