You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
