She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
