My sheets look like a crime scene.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
