why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
