I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
