the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
