let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize