Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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