You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
