So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
