I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
