We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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